Thank you, body pillows, for not being called loneliness pillows.

Thank you, The New York Public Library, for having over 1,800 people on the waiting list to borrow Fifty Shades of Grey. I’d hate to be the last on that list.

Thank you, people who reply to an email with the word Thanks spelt “thx”, for getting tired of showing your gratitude after two letters… You’re welcs!