Thank you, peer pressure, for being totally not cool. Unless my friends think it’s cool, then it’s pretty cool I guess.
Thank you, emails that say “You have successfully unsubscribed from these emails”, for completely missing the point.
Thank you, Oatmeal, for looking like I already ate you before I eat you.
Thank you, Red Sox’s first baseman Mike Napoli, for walking around Boston shirtless after the World Series parade, thereby earning your new nickname: Mike Nipoli.
Thank you, Pamela Anderson, for running the New York City Marathon for charity, which must have been really hard to do in slow motion.
Thank you, New Jersey governor, Chris Christie, for going back for seconds.
Thank you, the White House, for sending Joe Biden to visit China, Japan, and South Korea in December. Or as Biden said, “Yes! Epcot!”